JUST BEING GRATEFUL

It’s a week of penance and meditation.

A TIME OF Healing and a time to be grateful.  We are getting older (and a bit mature and wiser, hopefully). There are so many things to be thankful and so many things that I need to dig deeper within me .  I should not live a life of pain and hatred- cause it would make one unhappy.

Imagine living a life full of uncertainty, unmindful of the feelings of others, comparing oneself to others, being so selfish, insecurities. It is accessing to our own happiness in an inner self.  Being grateful with so many things. We have so many struggles and pains in the past, but those pains should not define of how we should see things in a negative way, somehow, it should guide us to becoming a better person with a good heart.  Being a good person is also a struggle because of so many temptations that drag us into what we should not supposed to do, but knowing our being, we should not deprive ourselves to finding a real happiness even in the simplest moment with the people who are worth keeping.

Most of time, I realized some great things in the smallest version, it is when I get confronted with a calling. and of course, it is always in the form of struggles, failures and most of the time during a broken moment of heart breaks. I never doubted my own self worth, but, I should say, I used to talk to psychologists before I get myself into facing a biggest challenge of my life.  It was the only way where I could fully understand my doubts. I’ve been living in a roller coaster ride,now, I learned to just swing with it and enjoy every ups and downs because the reality is, I don’t have the hold to dictate what kind of struggles I need to face everyday, but I have the heart to stand with each and every challenge. I need to not  complain. Life is not perfect but it is always beautiful.

Camugao Falls, Balilihan

Kawasan Falls,Balilihan,Bohol

There was once a magical journey, nothing has changed, maybe, but that journey though beautiful is taking us on different paths for now. Quoting, “There are no secrets nor salacious events at the root of our decision – just two best-friends realizing it’s time to take some space and help each other live the most joyous, fulfilled lives as possible.”

Here is my poem that portrays the state of mind.

JUST A MOMENT

Nothing could displaced my esteem

Because I chose not to

The discreet moment you shared might one of the best moment

Yet, I still chose to let go

Letting go is not a cowardly thing

But giving you the options of spreading your wings

I know I am not a part of it anymore

Seeing you at the wilderness I know I did nothing wrong

This is just a memoriam of once a happy time

Taking a backset from your life

Is I know the strength I could give to my life

Nothing stays forever

But the memory will last

I may not remember you in the near future

Just give me this time to think of a while

I got the honesty I could get from my own tongue

The honesty that released me from this uncertainty

I might not have the best words of goodness from you

It was enough just to let you understand

You have your past to accept

I have my own to heal

You have your weaknesses to appreciate

And yet I have my own esteem to mend

You might not understand why I just let you go that way

I could have my own reasons

That’s loving oneself before I could give mine to others

It is not I don’t want to spend a hard time with you

But the more I will stay the more you hurt me unintentionally

I am so excited to face the new challenges

Not anymore with you but with the rest

Thank you for all of this

Because I know I am strong enough to live

To be the best version of me

Not because I want you to see

But because you make me realize

I deserve more than I think I am.

I know this hurts will perish like a wind

Like a smooth whisper of wind

But it feels so good because I know I have forgiven.

Because at the end of the day, we should take a another path. I should start a day praying, being mindful of the present activity.  Like having a cup of tea or coffee and decluterring the things are my  form of a ritual, free me from any distractions. I am looking for a more favorite things to do, doing the craft I want,  building my own space, that will be my sanctuary, facing a new phase of my life and getting things done in my personal space.  I was given a book  by my great friend Nog Bernido entitled The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by the great Marie Kondo. Maybe sooner I will write an article inspired by this minimalist bible.

I stuck myself with so many self books.

I spent to much time dwelling with my own pains and struggles forgetting myself in the long run.  I spent to much time, effort and money trying to make easier for me to heal, but acceptance should not be taken through a shortcut. We are still a work in progress, being  happy is always a state of mind. Focus on what is important and spend the time with worth keeping people.

 

We have great friends, near and far, the family that we sometimes forget to give our attention. Make memories. Love yourself more, understand your worth and be the happiest and best version of you … ❤  ❤  ❤

 

 

MY PAINFUL SOLITUDE

DEAR YOU!!! 💁🏻‍♀️ 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

AN OPEN LETTER: 😀 😀 💖🌷🌷👍😍

When I started replying to your messages, I know I tried to be opened to friendship but when you started sharing your concerns to my friends, I opened my heart. You have showed care and kindness not just to me but to my family (and I will never forget that). 💖🌷🌷👍😍

When it was necessary for me to be away to fulfill my dreams, I thought it was our chances to prepare ourselves for each other, I dream to be a better partner to someone I will choose to love, yet, I never realized that those empty months of struggling towards my dreams are your months to weigh on things. 🎉🎈🎊🎆 I am not anymore part of your life. Maybe I was once to have a failed relationship, yet full of love and sacrifices and I thought I could have that love and sacrifices because I thought I deserve it. Moments have made me realized also that people may came interestingly so hot and so into me and just in a minute, BANG!! Nothing, they will just disappear like a wind. I never came across that before and I thought it’s not real, but hey!!! It’s for real. 😦 😦 👙👙💋 👙👙💋 🎉🎈🎊🎆

Somehow you have made my life easier then because you were always been there for me. You taught me how to smile and you spent time until wee hours. For some reasons, I tried to understand your pasts, your weaknesses and even your insecurities, I tried to reach out to you because I still wanted to understand, I already felt the pain and frustrations, but just what I usually did, I always believe of holding on. I pray every day that God will give me enough strength to acceptance. 😎😎 😎😎 🎉🎈🎊🎆 They said I set standards, I won’t deny it, but when it comes to you, I never have a standard, I don’t know what happened but it felt so great then, maybe that is one reason why I wish to have you, because, with your presence, I felt the security. For the longest time I distanced myself to this kind of feeling, yet, when I opened my heart, pains taught me another lesson. 🐶 🐶 🐶 . 😎😎🎉🎈🕺🏾 🎉🎈🎊🎆

Just a nice juxtaposition of photos and ideas. I want to be the best person I could be and yet I dont want to be selfish to myself by denying myself to be happy and security.. Secure emotionally because right now, I could not trust you anymore. 🙏🙏🙏 Giving positive energy to worthy causes that make the world a better place. 🙏🏻🌳 and remember friends, protect your well being from mental, emotional & physicial toxicity, and I think you are not anymore that way.☀️🌸🍒 ☀️🌸🍒

Writing is the easiest way of unloading everything, a cowardly act for some, but for me, it’s the safest way not to hurt anyone or let me say the easiest way to being honest. When I started tapping the keys, I eventually accepted everything, the frustrations that made me strong, the pains that made me forgive and the struggles to acceptance. 🎀 🎀 🎀 💋💋💋💋 💋💋💋💋God knows I feel so bad, but I have enough, I don’t want to blame you because I think it’s just me.🎉🎊🎂🍭🥂 I though I have protected myself from the pains but I was being so vulnerable, happy and contented just having you around. I just want you to know, I am grateful enough to have you in my life when I needed someone, but I have to pick up the missing pieces of me because that is the best I could do to myself. 👙👙💋 👙👙💋 👙👙💋

Maybe, you could read this now, or you might choose to ignore it, or might read it in the future, I hope you will understand my side as I understand you most of the time. 🏯 🏯 💞💖💖🌷🌷🌷 For the next months or so, I might also choose to accept every chance of opportunities, I think this is a great time to tell you now, I am good and I am moving on. 😋😋😋 Looking back through the months, I learned that I am still capable of caring someone without any reservations and I am too excited to meeting him in the near future. 🎀 🎀 🎀💋💋💋💋 💋💋💋💋.

I am at the happiest on simple things and yet I don’t want to be someone’s second option. I got the chance of knowing you, but most of all I got to understand some things. Sooner, my life will turn upside down because of the possible chances and I won’t take chances of taking a new step forward without first healing myself from the pains. I guess I am bless enough of having surrounded with great people and I don’t want to choose a life full of doubts. I simply want to be happy. 💖🌷🌷👍😍

There is no other way to healing but being grateful, and I chose to be grateful and happy. But, still allow me to heal from this day on, give me the space and time to reconnect again to myself. I don’t know if you still care, but maybe the best we could do for each other is to disconnect. 🎉🎈🎊🎆 Loo

💞💖💖🌷🌷🌷
FROM : ME 💁🏻‍♀️ 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 🎉🎊🎂🍭🥂

 

FALLING IN LOVE WITH ILOCOS 2-BANGUI,BURGOS and PAGUDPUD

As I have always said, blogging has become my way of expressing myself, a kind of platform.  By this time, blogging is a way of expressing my gratefulness to the people who are always been a part of my life yesterday, today and tomorrow.   Some of them are Ilocanos, whom I met back then, but it was only during my recent trip in Ilocos Region where I truly appreciate them. Me and Maam Anamor Akil went to the unfamiliar place like an innocent children, with only one thing in mind. WANDERLUST! 😀

Traveling is one of the things I really love to do.  I just started my SAVINGS for my future trips.

Here are some photos from the memorable trip I had with Maam Anamor, which might be helpful for others for their future trips in Ilocos Region:

THE WINDMILLS OF BANGUI:

In going to the Bangui windmill, we got a tour package taking a tricycle from a local in Pagudpud which costs us P900.oo per person, but  if one thinks of an adventure, it is quite cheaper compare to other rentals since the whole package includes the subsequent tours as mentioned in the next pictures. We really enjoyed the trip in Bangui Windmills, since it was our first time to got the look of a windmill it was totally an awesome experience of having seen this gigantic structures , it’s like  dinosaurs (in Jurassic Films) you can see through the big trees and mountains around.  One can buy some souvenirs for a cheaper prices compared to Vigan.

THE FAMOUS PAGUDPUD SIGNAGE

Yes the famous Pagudpud Sinage and of course the breathtaking terrain and rice paddies. So, when are you coming to Ilocos Region.  You got to visit the place.  ❤ ❤

Ever since, Ilocos Region has always been on my “bucket list”, so when I decided to visit my friends in Manila, the region was been the top priority in my destination and putting into list to my itinerary every towns and municipalities of Ilocos Sur and Ilocos Norte, though I still have Laoag to venture in the next few years (we were not able to stay overnight at Laoag since we were so tired then and we need to go to Pagudpud before the night ends).  There are lots of budget travel options.

I have been through lots of places in the Philippines. OHh!!! quite not a stranger in my own country..well, SLIGHT 🙂 :-).  But heaven!!, this place is one of the MOST PICTURE PERFECT, AMAZING, HEAVENLY…I almost lost an appropriate adjectives to describe the place, but yes!!..over and over, I am willing to travel almost 10 to 12 hours just to get there.

Be adventuruous enough and experience the thrill of everyday life of the locals.  The people was so friendly and we have no fear of being nabbed.  Take chances and enjoy life.  But I am not saying that you need to spend every token of your salary to travel, just save an amount for it, and have the initiative to get a cheapest travel budget.  It’s all over the net or be among of the locals and talk to few people, learn their language and appreciate them.  Anyway, the whole package  took us a whole day, yet every corner of the place we were able to explore.  They have their own tariffa and it’s approved by the local government.

SOUVENIRS IN BANGUI

 

We got to meet a Cebuana souvenir vendors at Bangui.

THE VERY CAPTIVATING KAPURAWPURAWAN ROCK FORMATION

KAPURAPURAWAN ROCK FORMATION- Burgos, Ilocos Norte

The place reminds me of how true happiness could be found in simplicity. Its a choice though, yet, an hour or two in the place made me realize how blessed I am in my life.  Though, just like the path going to the beautiful rock  formation, there are rough terrains that we need to endure in order to see its beauty.  There are areas that are restricted but this is one way of preserving the place.  So be a law abiding citizen.

Going to Kapurawpurawan, it took us less than fifteen minutes taking another tricycle but this time, the tricycles are accreditted by the local government to take tourists to the site to prevent traffic.  It costs us less than P200.00 and another P15.00 for a maintenance fee of the area.  Still no problem with that amount.

           The Kapurpurawan rock formation is located on the rocky coast of Burgos, Ilocos Norte. It came from the Ilocano word “puraw” which means white.  The rock formation in Kapurawpuraw was sculptured  by different oceanic and weather forces through times.

The tricycle driver religously took photos for us.  He is quite nice and very accommodating.

Even the small details are well preserve 🙂

CAPE BOJEADOR LIGHTHOUSE

The tour to Cape Bojeador Lighthouse (of the Burgos Lighthouse) in Burgos, Ilocos Norte is among of the package offered to the locals.  It is quite know for many since some of the local movies and television series were shot in this beautiful place.  It is 35 kilometers from Laoag City with narrow two-laned road, but since we started our tour from Pagudpud, it’s quite few kilometers from the municipality.

Cemented Stairway going to the top of the Cape Bojeador Lighthouse

 

The famous Cape Bojeador Lighthouse- amazingly beautiful .The first time I got to see a lighthouse and it was really a very fantastic experience.

The place is very peaceful and fantastic with a very cold breeze blowing from the surrounding area and the ocean not far from the lighthouse.  It stands on top of A hill called Vigia de Nagparitan Hill, overlookign Cape Bojeador.  It was built 100 years ago and still functional- it signals to the ship as the entered the Philippine territory, it was made during the Spanish era and was very useful during that time.

 

THE FAMOUS PATAPAT VIADUCT IN PAGUDPUD

The Patapat Viaduct of Pagudpud, Ilocost Norte is the 4th longest bridge in the Philippines which is 1.3 km.

HANNAH’s BEACH RESORT in Pagudpud

In Hannah’s, there is the longest zip line over open air in the country that 1 km long ride.

STINGRAY MEMORIAL

 

 

SAUD BEACHES

I should say, one of the most perfect place I have into was in PAgudpud.  As a child, I learned to dreamt many things in life even chasing them until this time, but I also never stop looking for a place to visit.  Always enjoy life, the way it should be.  Never confined yourself in the four corners of your home or office and go out and explore the world.  Me, I don’t have enough money to back me up every trip that I had, but I always make sure that I allotted a percentage of my salary for that.  There nothing wrong in travelling, exploring things, and take an adventure.  Why not try few of the beautiful spots that we had?

Travelling is one of our greatest mentor in life.  Through travelling I learned the different traditions each family had and be able to adjust with it.

FALLING IN LOVE WITH ILOCOS- VIGAN (Part 1)

This blog is about fulfilling one’s dream, facing the challenges and appreciating God’s gift and keeping the best of the past. I set multiple of goals and hoping to accomplish for this year.

Every girl has the right to fulfill her dreams, and this time, and for the first time actually, I got the courage to be a backpacker in a place which is a total stranger to me,  but I needed the break and  be able to rekindle with the lost part of me.  I knew lots of Ilocano back then, it was a leap of courage to take an adventure with only a copy of few blogs with me.  It was a very liberating experience, and so proud of it.

Right after the 2016 Holy Week, my new travel buddy headed to Manila, a stop-over going to our dream trip, ILOCOS.  It is one dream trip that I listed in my bucket list, so I was so excited to take a plunge and be a backpacker for few days and  experience the history of the province, our first stop is Vigan,  “it is a  city located in the northwestern coast of Luzon in the Philippines.  Vigan is the capital of the famous Ilocos Sur province and have gained the name as the only UNESCO World Heritage City in the Philippines, and just recently  won as one of the New Seven Wonders Cities of the World.”  Having this in mind, I was so overwhelmed to pack all my things and ready for my first ever backpacker’s trip.

boarding pass going to Manila

The photos I posted hopefully encourages people to explore our own country, because we actually had a lot to offer.

EXPLORING CALLE CRISOLOGO

What is remarkable about Calle Crisologo is how the people preserve the old houses. Motorcycles are not allowed only the “kalesa”. It’s a very beautiful place for me.

My new travel buddy, Anamor Akil at the Calle Crisologo,  Heritage Village in Vigan

We are so fortunate then that we decided to take that vacation right after the holiday since there were only few tourists flocking to experience and explore the province. Accordingly, there are 187 listed ancestral houses in the town.  The place is so interestingly amazing! 😀 😀   It was so early because we arrived at around 5:00 AM at Vigan City. After fixing ourselves, we went straight to the Heritage Village were famous houses are located.  The best advise I could give is be early, since there are only few tourists strolling the area if you come at around 5:00 AM.

When we think of Vigan we always associate it with Calle Crisologo. At first glance, I noticed that it is just a simple structure, but as we continue strolling the whole area, it made me realized the noblest life of the people in the simplest past. A friend of mine told me also that the best time to visit is during night time when the lamps are lit, but obviously during that time, I’m sure there are lots of tourists.

Here is the detail of our trip to Vigan.  Vigan City is located 408 kilometers away from Manila. From Cubao, we took the Partas Bus that took almost ten (10) hours trip. Since we never booked in a hotel, we decided to change our clothes and have some little freshen up at the Partas Bus Terminal.  We slept during the entire trip.   It was really a fun experience.

Note:  Fare for Partas Bus from Cubao to Vigan City is P645.00.

From Calle Crisologo, we hired  a tricycle which cost us P500.00 for a tour within Vigan. Though one can hire a “kalesa” for another kind of experience which cost P150.00/per hour.

At the famous Calle Crisologo, Heritage Village, Vigan City.  We started strolling around at around 5:30 in the morning and since there were only few tourists during early morning we were able to enjoy the whole place.  AMAZING!! The cobble-stoned street in Vigan is a journey to the colonial era.  During early morning, I never thought it would be that magical since we were able to enjoy the different changes of the sky that compliment the color of the houses.

 

The historical houses of Vigan specifically in the famous Calle Crisologo reminded me of the Spanish era, but the people were able to preserve the beautiful houses complete with horse carriages. It is simple, naturally old-looking, yet has survived the challenges of time.  The trip for me was so far the best historical trip I ever had.  It gave me enough understanding of my past, and the appreciation of preserving what has left for us.

Research has told me, the houses in this area were owned by some Filipino-Chinese traders whose families rose to prominence and wealth when clothing and trading industry at the Northern part of Luzon was at its peak.  Fortunately, for generations the people has preserved and maintained the place like it was before, with the Spanish architecture. Few of the old houses were converted into souvenir shops, coffee shops, restaurants and hostels.

According to some blogs, Calle Crisologo is at its worst during high noon because there are lots of tourists.  Fortunately in our part, we were able to enjoy the place for almost two (2) hours before we headed for breakfast. My tip is:  Come at dawn at around 4:30 AM until morning, its the best time.

The happiest moment while strolling at Calle Crisologo

THE DIFFERENT FACES OF VIGAN CITY

Tips:  Souvenirs at Paoay and Laoag are quite expensive than Vigan and Pagudpud.  However, in Bangui Windmill area, we were able to buy some souvenirs, even the t-shirts at the cheaper prices.

The famous Basi Wine in Vigan

THE TASTE OF VIGAN CITY

For me, checking and trying the cuisine is one I always consider when visiting a place.  Since I already had the the taste of some Ilocano foods, I simply want to have it cooked in its place of original, and Vigan never denied it from US. Funny but true, since I am a Jadine fan, I tried and asked the locals of the exact hotel where this famous couple stayed, thankfully, it was just within the area, Cosina Ilocana, where we had our breakfast.

I learned to savour the foods of the Ilocano, and during the trip, of course, I tried the best of what they have.

The Vigan longaganisa is a small and plump native sausage, good for about two or three bites and stuffed with lots of garlic.  Honestly, until now I cannot fully appreciate it but maybe after many tries who knows I will be able to love it.

Note: Vigan Empanada is different from Laoag Empanada, and I have tasted the latter. Laoag Empanada uses achuete so it has a very attractive color.  IT was my first time to have a taste of it, but I am looking forward to try over and over in the future.

The two Empanada’s of Ilocos have basically the same ingredients: rice flour for the crust with or without achuete and for the Laoag Empanada it uses an achuete; filling of egg and mongo sprout or parboiled mongo or grated green papaya for ordinary orders, and additional Ilocos longanisa for special.

And never forget the every famous Bagnet.  Bagnet is a pork belly meat in deep fried format and an Ilocano original and version of a lechon kawali.

THE STRUCTURES AND LANDSCAPE

On of the most striking feature in this place is the bell tower, The Bantay Bell Tower standing in the beautiful  landscape hill nearby a church.  Like most of the bell towers, it served as the protector against the enemies during the World War I and World War II.

Have you remember the And Panday The Movie? this is where the ball of fire struck of one of the scene of the movie, and I cannot imagine I was standing right at this place. Uhhmmm…impossible dreams also do come true.  So never give up on your dreams.

 

View from the top of the Bantay Tower

 

A good view of the colorful cemetery from the top of the Bantay Tower.

I never got the best shot for one of Vigan’s prominent landmark, the ST. PAUL’s METROPOLITAN CATHEDRAL.

The driver of the tricycle we hired generously toured us around without even telling him (actually Ilocos Region for me is the most friendly for tourists and backpackers), and he brought us to Vigan’s Pagburnayan, for some, it is the iconic pottery area in the city.  Most of the burnay jars are exported to other countries especially in some part of Europe.

Abel is a traditional woven product in Ilocos Region specifically in Vigan.

Even before I am fascinated with colorful fabrics in Benguet, and since Vigan is also known of Abel Loom Weaving, I never failed to visit one of the Weaving Village in the City.  Abel is a traditional woven product in Ilocos Region.  The tradition is pass for generations to generations, in fact the antique furniture used for weaving is already considered an heirloom for some families.  And one will be surely amaze of how this people make this tradition and intrinsic part of their lives.

 

HIDDEN GARDEN OF VIGAN- DISCOVER THE PLACE

Vigan and the rest of the Ilocos Region for me is a perfect place to unwind, it has almost everything you wanted, from journey of the past, enjoying the beauty of nature to the beautiful resorts, yet, I myself had not anticipated this beautiful paradise.  At first glance  Hidden Garden, is just like a regular garden, but what is so amazing is we kept on discovering what is inside the garden. Yes, the name is perfectly a complete description of the place itself.    Note:  There is a restaurant at the Hidden Garden where the tourist could grab something to eat, from meals up to the snacks.

 

ENJOY AND EXPLORE OUR OWN COUNTRY!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤  😀

LIFE’s ONE GREATEST GIFT

In every journey in life, I met different people who stayed with me through the years.  In this very important moment, I want to share some greatest journey I had with this wonderful people.  I owe a page of my blog to somehow share the best ever “not so special occasion” but created a memory of a lifetime.  I have great friends and they are among of those I cannot live behind. We live half a Philippines away, I got to see them usually once year, but my love for them never changed in a single.

They are my good friends, who were like a family to me. 

It’s common knowledge that long distance relationships are difficult and most likely doomed, but for me, it is a chance to keep the bond stronger.  It is not easy but a challenge.

NOw that I am halfway away, I tried not to lose track with them. An honest and adult best-friendship can challenge you in ways for which you can never prepare. Like most friendships, the biggest hurdle in ours is being apart. And as I always said, I always feel so blest to have them in my life and I will never get tired to keep them in my lifetime.

Like many people, I’ve had to make the decision between a path of certainty and a path of the unknown and I chose the unknown. Even though I’m content with the decision I made and the road it’s taking me down, if I’d known back then that it would take me so far from the best friends I’ve ever had, I’m still not certain I would do it all again. In a way, being apart has made our connection stronger. It was hard when we were separated after I decided to transfer to my province,   but when we went our separate ways to find careers and lives of our own, we found that no distance could ever take away the home base that is our friendship.

            Through time this people gave me so much joy.

 

 

MY MIDDLE THIRTY BUCKET LISTS

I just read my EARLY THIRTY: My Realization and My Own Bucket List which I posted on August 2012.  It’s quite a long time that I listed some things that I needed to do and realized, I got few of them recently. We are in final months before ending the 2015 and next year will be another year to be added in my life (if God permits).   :V :V : V 😀  ….It seems that it was just recently that I tried to make some lists, actually I was just doing what other bloggers do when I posted that blog.  But hey!I kept it to myself hoping for adventures, inspirations, more dreams to realize and places to travel. 😎 😎

There were number of times when all I could do was to cry for some uncertainties, but every second of the day, God always reminded me how He turned every happenings into a blessing.  Not all the best gives me joy and happiness.  That is  very clear to me now.

I looked at the list I posted before and meditated how long or short I went after how many years of struggle.  I mentioned “struggle” because that was the time where I tried to pick up myself after few of many defeats.  And again, I am talking about defeat because I was totally down and hopeless then.  Having gone through my lists it reminded me I really did my best to make things happened and it really turns out what I really hope for.  As I mentioned before, God has its own way of doing trick to us. ❤ ❤ ❤

Having been away from my family for almost three years,  I learned the value of my parents.  Though the roller coaster ride of family relation is not that smooth but somehow, what I learned is making the most of my days with  them while they are already at their twilight years, and I could say I am bless enough to have it realized before I will regret. 😀 😀 😀

One of the biggest lessons in life is realizing there is no failure but the failure to stop trying. 

Here is my Personal Update of My Own Bucket Lists now that I am already at my 35th years of Existence (Based on my Previous Blog): ^_^   ^_^   ^_^

1.  STILL HAVE TO CONTINUE MY DREAMS OF BECOMING A LAWYER.  DONE NUMBER OF TIMES..and still pursuing my passion of becoming a lawyer…UNTIL NOW, I still don’t have the plans to stop the dream)..One of the biggest lessons in life is realizing there is no failure but the failure to stop trying. Never give up on your dream.

2. I WANT TO BECOME A CHEF.  uHHHMMM!!! Sounds so beyond what I used to dream.I love cooking and I love to share some foods.  Doing the platting is for me like doing a make up or decorating a home.  I need to put some love and passion and it feels so good to make other people happy because they were satisfied with the foods I am serving, and right now, I want to do more, to learn more.

3. I MAY NOT HAVE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD, but I never stop praying.

4. CONTINUE BLOGGING. The only platform where I could share my thoughts and aspirations, preserving my emotions and smiles of the days that cannot be forgotten.  Blogging is one way of expressing and being with  myself.  I do not pretend to be what I am not, I don’t care what people might say.the important thing is, I am what I am and what will I want to be. For the past years, I embraced a number of different hobbies: gardening, oil and watercolor painting, handicraft making, cooking,uhhhmmm…and a once-in-blue moon trying hard on the job trainee in photography with my friend, Nog Bernido, just to name a few. All of them changed my outlook in life, but through blogging I could put all the words somethings which would likely described me.

“And while there are many articles written about why you should blog to grow your business or become an expert or make a whole bunch of money—the best recommendations are still found in the personal realization that blogging changes you, the writer.”(excerpt from a famous blogger, becomingminimalist)

5.  TO MAKE THE FARM COTTAGE A BIG FAMILY BUSINESS and the FARM COTTAGE SOUVENIRS AND GIFT SHOP a successful.  Farm Cottage is our parent’s legacy for us, and I want to make it big for them. (I used the Blackberry Z10 for this photo)

          6.  TO BE ABLE TO SHARE MY BLESSING IN THE MOST SIMPLE WAY and to MAKE THE PEOPLE NEXT TO ME HAPPY.  God has given me beyond what I have expected, and its natural to share it to people next to me.  And I wish I could touch people’s lives in every second of my life.

Relief Goods Packing at Camp Crame, Quezon City for the Yolanda and Earthquake victims in 2013.

           Not every day is going to offer us a chance to save someone’s life, but everyday offers us an opportunity to affect one. Doing what is right is always the gift to myself.

     7. SWIN WITH THE WHALE SHARKS IN OSLOB. I already experienced many island hoping from North to South of the Philippines and it feel so great to enjoy the natural wonder of the Philippines, and I am so proud to say, it is indeed MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES.  But wait, I have lot more to explore and one of those is to experience swimming with the Whale Shark in Oslob. (I got the image from Google and credit to http://meetjoyce.blogspot.com)

     8.  TO CAPTURE IMAGES USING MY RAW SKILLS..  YES! I already got my DSLR Canon Camera. I never thought I could have one too soon but yes I did  (y) (y) and I still want to be a landscape photographer (for my personal fulfillment). 😀 😀

9. TO TRAVEL MORE (Philippines and abroad).   I already traveled many beautiful places in the Philippines and I am proud to say, I made through it,though it was quite stressful but it’s very fulfilling.  The fist time I experienced camping in a remote cove in Pundaquit, Zambales, Philippines without any form of comforts, yet that was one of the most amazing trip I made with  equally lovable people. And i wish in the next few years, I will be able to travel throughout the Philippines.

CAMBODIA,  THAILAND, SINGAPORE, CANADA AND UNITED STATE OF AMERICA      (I decided to dream high, so high that I wanted to fulfill most of them).  I am not too ambitious but I want to make this as my inspiration.

There is a lot of magic in this glorious planet of ours. From the majesty of the coastal mountain range, to the sprawling skies of the prairies, nature has a lot to offer. But not only nature, I think it’s high time for me appreciating the beauty within the ordinary and realize that everyday is to be treasured in it’s own unique way.

10.TO TRAVEL TO BATANES.

11. TO EXPERIENCE WHITE CHRISTMAS .  When will it be?

I want to live my dream.  And my Bucket List will be my inspiration. ❤ ❤ ❤ 😀

 

AT 33 and Still “SINGLE”

Most often I encountered so many questions, from the early start of my work here in the PNP.  Part of the questions that was asked by a psychologist during my neuro oral interview was “Why are you still single?” “Are you a lesbian? I could not help but burst into laughter at that moment, I even thought I would loss my appointment.

Another man asked me why I am not yet married? Or am I already attached and have a common relationship with a guy here in Manila? and still many questions that I often encountered almost every day in the office, instead of giving them a hard look, I just simply shrugged my shoulders.  My age and my marital status are often brought up during small talks, and that is inevitable specially that I am surrounded with men-in-uniform.

Upon learning that I am already 33 years old and still single, they usually say maybe I am too picky with my choices of a guy, with the tone of their remarks, they seem so sorry for me.

People think, at my age and as a woman, I am too picky.  I find no reason why they usually make such assumption, and it seemed that they would like to imply that I am not anymore in the position to be overly picky because of my age.  But there are also some cool people, specially my real friends who would always tell me to take my time and enjoy life.  I understand that getting married and having kids ranked No.1 priority of each one’s life, and that marriage happens before 30 years old when our child-bearing abilities are at their prime. Honestly, I really never thought about it even before until recently, because, accordingly, it is the normal thing.  But who can define “normal” for anyone?

Just yesterday, my boss called me to his office, I thought there was a big issue concerning the office, much of my dismay he just asked about my love life.  Recently, I started praying again for the man of my life.  Now, at 33, and at the peak of the glaring issues of marriage, I realized that God often does not give what we want but what we need instead.  I am not trying to defend myself from the inevitable issue of being “single”, but, if I am meant to be married now, there should have series of prearranged events that would lead me to that. Maybe, I am just to be careful of the choices I am trying to make, after all, I really want to have it as a lifetime commitment, I really, really like the idea of being married but definitely I could not imagine myself settling for less.  There are lots of marriages that never ended up in a “happily ever after”.  Some people are miserably married, some are luckily married, while some are truly happily married.  And as of my age, and as of my personal view, I want to be married out of pure love and commitment.  I personally value commitment, love, respect and responsibility more than anything else than signing a piece of paper.  I want to go with the process of getting into love and commitment, because at the end is that what makes it beautiful and magical.  I simply want to do things for the right reason not because of the peer pressure.  After all, it’s not the people surrounding me who will suffer if my marriage failed, but it will always be “me”.  I just want to feel it right.  And what is right for me at this point, is to wait for the right moment when it will bound to happen, because if I am meant to be married, for sure, I would be.  And I personally believe in it.

25 FACTS ABOUT ME!

                                                                         HELLO WORLD!

I read one of the famous blog just this afternoon and i feel like i want to make my own list also in my personal blog, going to myself, actually is a lot of fun.

Here are the most “LOVED”  things to do:

1. I love GARDENING / FARMING

2. I love baking (a long time ago) and hopefully i will continue baking in the near future.

3. I love coffee, in fact i guess i am addicted to brewed coffee! (Is anyone could share your fave coffee to me? i certainly love to try)

4. I love shopping (kitchen utensils, furnitures and decorations).

5. I love myself more than, being positive and happy person!

6. My favorite months of the year are the months of March (when the flowers of the mahogany trees are starting to bloom! the smells makes me remember the haippy moments of my childhood) and of course August (our fiesta) and December (CHRISTMAS PARTY!).

7. I Love my family and friends.. and i always cherished every moments with them.

8. I love going to beach and wear two-piece swimsuit!

9.I love SEAFOODS!OYSTER AND LOBSTER! sea orchins and seaweeds.

10.I love going to the beach during low tides with my babies, INDAY CJ AND KUYA LAiWRENCE!

11.I love reading, i cannot live with a book in my side, i love watching TV, i love writing and blogging.

12.I am a real foodie, i love going to restaurants specially the “eat-all you can” restaurants, try some new cuisine.  I hate junk foods.  I love home cook foods, and i always love my Papa Cinto’s ADOBO and BEEF STEAK.

13.I love the style of Kate Middleton and the looks of Thalia.

14.I extreme sports, going to adventures and take a vacation with my new friends.  But i dreamt and wished to take a vacation with the people i loved, specially with my family.

15.I love to be alone sometimes and have more time to do things i love like blogging and daydreaming (huh?!)

16.I love to make the whole house so clean.  I love to be surrounded with beautiful things.

17.As of this time, and aside from my hometown, i love spending my weekends in Tagaytay. I really love the breeze of the wind. (Heavenly!).

18.I love to practice driving (how i wish i would have enough courage to drive)

19.I love being at home and have a good afternoon snacks at https://www.facebook.com/farmcottagedresses.farmcottage?fref=ts.

20.I always dreamt to be a lawyer and soon i know i would be 🙂

21.I love photography and still practicing it.

22.I love chocolate specially kitkat and those from European countires.

23.I am proud to be a Filipino.  I don’t care what other race think about us but i always love and proud to be a Filipino.

24.I love talking and helping my clients.

25. I simply love being me!

Hope you too have your own lists. It’s fun! Try it!

UNBEARABLY PAINFUL

Few months ago, I wrote a blog about the man I loved.  The man who eventually dumped me.  I even thought of giving the benefits of the doubt hoping at the end, there will be a better tomorrow, but the sad reality made me realized, I should have stopped the craziness long before.  Of course, until now, I never stopped believing and hoping it will be US in the future.

I tried to convinced myself that this pain is not real, but it is, now!!  I got that chance to “add him as friend” in my other facebook account, yes! he did confirmed! but I almost lost my tears finding out that after few days, he clicked the “UNFRIEND” button.  I cannot imagine being in this situation again, the feeling of rejection, being dumbed! God knows how much i prayed to forget him, FOR REAL!   I tried to grasped every words he uttered the last time we talked over the phone.  GO ON- MOVE ON- I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND, NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS, WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER FOR NOW – BUT WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE A CLOSURE!!

i may have the courage to take all kinds of ride in life
i may laugh and smile all the time
i may give my life to everybody
i may be willing to sacrifice
and amidst of the strong woman as i am
i am vulnerable to all the pain..i cried most of the time
i am child at heart
i wish to be happy

I already have no tears to cry nor enough of my strength to keep me going, but I should have to..FOR MYSELF.

While assessing to the reality and all the things that happened for the past five years, I tried to convinced myself, that everything I dreamt of  about a happy ending in our lives are not real, futile and surely won’t happened. I tried to browse the google and read articles.

Here are some articles I’ve read (via yahoo and answer.com):

What does a guy want when he says he loves you but doesn’t want to be with you right now and keeps you at a distance so you can’t move on?

Answer

He isn’t stopping you from moving on, YOU are the one stopping yourself from moving on. Unless someone you love can commit within reason then one does not hang around. If this guy loved you he’d want to be with you and he either isn’t all that interested in you or he likes playing the field. I suggest you tell him to take a hike or at least start dating others again and see how he feels when he realizes he hasn’t any control of you.

You are in charge of your own destiny.

Good luck Marcy

Answer

This man knows how much you like him, but by doing this he gets to control you and keep you close. Break this tie, if he makes contact tell him you cant wait around forever and are therefore moving on, even if he says he wants to get back with you, tell him you need to move on, because he will keep on doing this. Don’t communicate with him, until you can trust yourself and your emotions not to give in to him. This is not a healthy set up for you, and you need to make it clear that you wont wait like this, stop living in the hope of this relationship starting up again, its time to take your life in your own hands – you are in control.

Answer

Simple. He wants to play games with you. He is not ready to be tied down but he is so selfish he is not ready to give you up either.My suggestion is to move on you are better than that.

He is no good

This guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship..he wants to keep his options open. If you are looking for a relationship then he is not good for you..Move on to someone else you are interested in who is exciting. If you don’t, he will come around when he wants, whenever he wants..and all you’d be doing is waiting for him..

What to do when a guy says he doesn’t want to say he loves you because he doesn’t want to lie about it?

If he is your boyfriend… Break up with him.. I’m sorry but it looks like he doesn’t love you anymore…. If he isn’t your boyfriend, apparently you just got rejected. Sorry. There are two choices you can pick from; 1) Break up with him and move on to someone who will actually love you, 2) Make him fall in love with you…

Hurtful reality.

As I read the above articles, I cannot help but feel the pain..too much pain actually!!

Been that pain for quite sometimes, yet it is so painful!

HONESTLY, I wanna move on..not for him but FOR MYSELF. This feeling is unhealthy i know. I wish i could free myself from this feeling, NOW!

There is no real future in the relationship I wanted to have.

Anyway, I write this blog to help me realized things.

CAN YOU HELP ME TO GO THROUGH THIS PAIN?

Please can you give your comments! anything, just help me realized!! Please!